Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
