It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Your tits are I can't wait for
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
