So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize