i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
