Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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