Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
