Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
