The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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