So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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