His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
