I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its not stalking. its research.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize