Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
