The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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