One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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