You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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