I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
