new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
