remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
