White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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