News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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