Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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