We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
