I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
