Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
