i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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