What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize