the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
