I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize