Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
