Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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