theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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