this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
