if i died would you start the facebook group?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize