If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
