I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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