He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
