when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize