kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
