think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
3 2 1 whiskey
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
