you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She's like a pop up book from hell.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
