is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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