I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
even my farts smell like vagina
operation harelip BJ is a go
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
