Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
