I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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