As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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