i may or may not be watching the land before time
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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