Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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