At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
