Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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