Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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