Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
