I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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