he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize