I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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