Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize