never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
