Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
