Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I need moral support for this bender
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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