I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
