I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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