Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
