what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
