ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
