you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
