***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
