Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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