the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
