I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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