I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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